you ever see someone and they make your whole life stop? like you really feel like time has slowed down and they now have the key to speed it back up. a woman has the power to walk in a good man’s life and ruin it all if he has enough feelings towards her. I remember my mom would always tell me how love makes you do crazy things. I almost ran away from home in 7th grade multiple times simply because I had a girlfriend I was crazy about and my parents kept taking my phone away. It was for simple things I would forget to do such as taking out the trash or something of that sort. looking back on it now I was wet behind the ears as the old folks would say. just young and dumb. where would I go if I left my house and never returned? it’s a good thing I never walked further than the curb on these “threats” to run away.
a male is most vulnerable when he is in his feelings. as males, we are already taught to be closed off with our emotions. we are always trying to find balance and when we start having these emotions come into place it throws our balance all off because we’ve never truly experienced this feeling, let alone was properly allowed to let them out correctly. think about it, when your parents would beat the hell out of you then say “I’m only doing this because I love you” we would be thinking “no the hell you don’t.” how could we express our love through such a demeaning way was toxic behavior in itself. I can understand what they truly meant by that statement the older I got, but at that moment you’re almost teaching a kid that if he loves something he must beat it. that could be why so many men feel so entitled to beat the hell out of women then tell her how much he loves her and he’ll never do it again when we all know how that situation will go. back to the subject at manner though, love and the man mindset has never been in sync.
I feel as if I grew up knowing love in a unique way. on one hand, I experienced a tough love from my father, but my mother would always remind me of a truly genuine love that I felt was the way it should always be shown. she’d constantly tell me stories of her father I never met but was blessed to receive his name and how he was a great loving man. I knew how strong the love he showed was when I realized how long he’s been gone and how he still has an impact on so many people lives till this day. I sometimes feel as if I may love too hard and I’m living in a generation that doesn’t love hard enough but feel as if they are going all out. When you bring someone love they’ve never experienced it always seems to present a game of tug of war.