Proverbs 21:23- “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.”
Why are we so quick to let loose with our mouth when things upset us? As a kid I had one of the worst tempers ever, if something didn’t go my way it was about to be hell to pay for the rest of that night. I remember me and my dad getting into a huge altercation and it ended with me saying some harsh words. At that moment I meant what I said, but as time went on I didn’t realize the effects that the few words I said had on him. He was truly scarred by my words, hell I’m still scarred by some of the things he’s said to me 4+ years ago. This was the beginning to me realizing how much power my tongue had over me.
A big thing with me is I hate apologizing for anything I say because I say what I mean and mean what I say. This is why I’m so slow to speak when I’m angry now. Most people that know me now has never seen me act out of character simply because I’ve learned how to control my tongue and control how I let my anger affect me. After I’d throw a big temper tantrum my dad would always say “nobody made you this mad, you chose to get this mad” at that moment this would only make me madder, but I slowly caught the meaning of what he meant. When someone pushes you to your breaking point it’s only two ways you’re gonna react, you’re gonna snap or you’re gonna turn the other cheek and keep it pushing. “A wise man once said nothing at all”
I learned to not speak while angry because I realized my thought process is different from when I’m calm than when I’m upset. If you know me, you know I curse like a sailor, but when I’m angry I will barely say a curse word at all. I feel I’ve taken after my mother and learned how to curse people out with my words without saying a curse word. This allows me to know for sure my words won’t be taken out of context and will actually have a purpose behind them. I think I can be so cold-hearted at times because when people say things to me I take the words as they came. I’m always listening and no matter how many apologies a person may say I still will remember the energy you had when you came at me incorrectly. I don’t hold grudges, but I also don’t forget anything. this may be why it’s so hard for me to forgive people that do me wrong because I know can’t get over the fact I was disrespected
Many will say I’m nonchalant because I don’t always give the reaction people want to see out of me. this may be a misunderstanding simply because I feel getting angry and getting out of my character is a waste of energy. Do you know how tiring it is to actually get mad and let everything loose? it’s almost like a workout with all the hooping and hollering that goes on. If you can’t communicate with your words properly and explain what’s wrong and how a solution can be found, then I see no need to continue talking with you.
I pray my generation learns how to hold their tongue and realize that it doesn’t make you less powerful. Martin Luther King had his house bombed while his family was in it and still chose the higher road of peace than violence. Many prefer the methods of Malcolm X because he was more radical and believed in an eye for an eye, but with this mindset we will all end up blind. Stop thinking you have to get even with people when they do you wrong. Live life and do onto others as you wish to be done upon you. Wars are started, families are broken, and lives are taken all from the words that may come out of someone’s mouth. Proverbs 15: 1-2 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Be more aware of your actions and how they can affect more than just yourself, whatever energy you put out into the world is the same energy you’ll receive. Don’t allow your tongue to be the reason you lose a job or even your life.
(Special shoutout to my bro Tabias, he turned 20 today. remember bro that life has so much in store for you and that you were meant for greatness. Keep God first and you’ll never fail)