Fight The Feeling…

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I’m lost.

It’s like an empty space fills my heart.

I haven’t really felt this way before.

I haven’t had any close family members die in my lifetime, it’s like a piece of me is missing.

It’s crazy how someone can bring you so much clarity and happiness and not have it themselves.

Will we ever feel comfortable letting out our inner demons?

Everything sounds better if we just take it to the grave with us, but is anything worth being left here on earth than dying with us?

Why does it seem as sometimes the biggest battles I face are the ones in my head?

It’s like T.I. vs T.I.P.

As time goes by it’s hard to know what true happiness feels like.

Nothing brings excitement to my eyes like the happiness I see in my memories.

Happiness doesn’t seem to stick anymore. It’s like it’s here for a second, then gone the next.

Will I ever be able to be the champion and have a title run? Or will the champion in me run in disarray?

Maybe that second life is what I need to be the better me.

I learned all the lessons I needed, give me one more chance to make the days right.

Don’t allow me to go through life taking all the punches and never allow me to get off the ropes and let loose.

Maybe I’m just here to be the image of what it’s like to be able to withstand the fight.

What if that’s not the story I wanted to tell though? What if my happiness comes from the love that I can give out and hope to one day receive from a lover.

Sometimes I wish my mom didn’t set the standard so high for women in my life. Everyone is so busy trying to change the normal that they’ve lost sight of what works.

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it they say.

Maybe women are no longer interested in being loved.

Maybe the qualities you can bring to a woman’s attention will never matter unless it fits the image they have for it in their heads.

Maybe one day I’ll wake up and this is all a dream. 

Or maybe I’ll never wake up again and it’ll just be the mourning after…




Life isn’t to be taken for granted. I know it seems as if we go to sleep expecting to wake up the next morning, but we never truly know if we will until our eyes open. Yes you only get one life, but in that life it’s up to you to make the most out of it. Sometimes we aren’t called to be a Bill Gates or to be a Serena Williams. Don’t block your blessings trying to chase a lifestyle you can’t love. Like J. Cole said

“Always gon’ be a whip that’s better than the one you got. Always gon’ be some clothes that’s fresher than the ones you rock. Always gon’ be a bitch that’s badder out there on the tours. But you ain’t never gon’ be happy ’til you love yours”

There’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours. Make your story matter and don’t allow inner thoughts to take you off course. Know that you have a reason to be alive another day and that your story isn’t done yet. Keep fighting. 

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